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Thursday, December 31, 2015

An Unlikely Gift


Today is Spiritual Journey Thursday, a day for me to spend some time turning toward God.  December's theme has turned out to be gifts.  Please feel free to join me on this journey each Thursday with Holly Mueller and friends.

Dear Spiritual Journey Friends,

These past five months have been a true test for me.  

A test of strength. 

A test of faith.

As you know, Megan started her first year of teaching in August.  It was during this time when I had never felt so helpless as a mother.  Megan was miserable, and I would say a little bit scared. She had just spent the last four years of her life preparing for a career in which she now hated. She threw her hands up in the air and wanted to quit so many times.

I didn't know what to do; so I prayed.  I left the house each morning with a pit in the bottom of my stomach.  And I worried all day long.  During our moment of silence each day at school, I prayed a mother's plea, "God, please help her."  

I felt like my own prayers were not enough, so I called on many of you to pray for her too.

And you did.

Little by little God started to reveal His answer in an unlikely gift.

Megan has one student in particular who has some difficult emotional needs and who is Megan's biggest challenge as a teacher.  

One day, Megan showed me a picture of her student, "J," and she had completely surrounded herself with cardboard dividers.  I knew then there was more to this little girl than neither Megan nor I could imagine.  But what I didn't know was that she was the very person who would save Megan.

One day Megan came home and told me about a letter "J" had written her.  She looked at me and said, "Mom, she just wants to be loved."  I wrote about that letter here.

God's answer was being revealed day by day.

Then another time, Megan and "J" had  lunch together.  "J" confided in Megan and told her that she trusted Megan because she was her teacher.  I wrote about that here

I knew then that God had answered my prayers, our prayers.  He has placed in Megan's hands a gift, a gift which Megan never expected and a gift which helped her to realize she was called to be a teacher.

Thank you my friends.  I think she is going to make it.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Lighting the Way



in the horizon
one bright star lights the way to
an unlikely gift


©Leigh Anne Eck, 2015

This haiku is reposted from my blog A Day in the Life where I am participating in a December challenge.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Again


Today is Spiritual Journey Thursday, a day for me to spend some time turning toward God.  December's theme is gifts.  This post is not about gifts, but a post that needed to be written.
Please feel free to join me on this journey each Thursday with Holly Mueller and friends.

I knew it had been awhile since I occupied this space, but I didn't realize just how long until I began writing this post.

There are many reasons why I have not been here.  One is that I didn't feel like I belonged here.  After reading so many of your posts, I felt I wasn't good enough, or I wasn't a "Christian" writer.

The joy thief came.

My faith seemed so small compared to many of yours.  I was no longer strong enough to put my words on these pages for you to read, to compare my words to yours.

And he came again.

Weeks turned into months, and after not writing for so long, I felt like a failure.  This space became a mockery of what I called my faith.  I was just writing words, I was not living them.  And all of you were.

And he came again and again.
Every time I tried to write.

My faith became weaker, and I stopped writing.

Last night as I was watching a preview clip of "A Coat of Many Colors," Dolly Parton's mother said these words.
"Love ain't just a feeling.  It is an action."

I immediately wrote these words down and they kept repeating themselves to me, again and again.  I began thinking about why I started this space.  I wanted to TURN toward Him.  Turn is an action.

This space was meant to be a journey.  A journey is an action.  It is the act of getting from one place to another.  I am not there yet.  I may never get there.  

When I think about the twelve men Jesus chose to come along on His journey, I see me.

I see weak faith.

I see doubt.

I see struggle.

But I also see love.

Love as an action, not just a feeling.  Their faith was tested again and again, but they continued the journey.

My love for God cannot just be a feeling, it needs to be an action.

And so I begin...again.

Maybe this post was about a gift after all.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. ~ Colossians 3:7